Thursday, June 23, 2011

Friendly's...the friendly place???

At my local Friendly's on Wednesdays kids eat for 1.99 with an adult meal. It seems like a great deal, but this deal comes at your own risk of losing the little sanity you have left. It is TORTURE with a capital T. Once you are seated it begins from every corner of the restaurant..."Stop it, eat your food, we don't spit, sit and finish, if you don't finish we are not coming back, do not eat like a dog, get off the floor, Moooooooommmm he's not sharing his fries, leave him alone, eat your own food, behave yourself, get back here!!" It is official, I'm in the ninth canto of hell. 

My kids start to act up and I give them the look of death. They stop immediately because they know I will get up and leave (I've done it before). But you can't blame them for trying-the whole restaurant is in chaos! I sit there and think, "I'm a glutton for punishment! Calgon take me away!!!" Then I see people come in with no kids and I think to myself, "Are you crazy or love to be tortured? The ice cream is not that good, is it?!?"

And then the happy ending, the sundae is served. SILENCE...the kids are quiet and I have a moment of peace before the sugar kicks in. 
There it is....this is why I keep coming back...the silence...its almost worth the tears, screaming, and tantrums.....Almost!


The Brainless Housewife :P

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Hi, I'm a Nail Polish Addict

Name: The Brainless Housewife
Age: Mid 30's
Addiction: Coffee (that's a given I have children!) and Nail polish

In this stage of my life, I have become a nail polish addict. Ages ago when dinosaurs roamed the earth, B.C. (Before Children) I used to get my nails done weekly. I loved having them polished and beautiful. However, after I had children my nails took a back seat...all the way back to the end of the 5000 ft long trailer. 

But this spring something amazing happened. I was on youtube and on the side there was a link to a nail tutorial. I clicked and was amazed. I combed over all the videos and my absolute favorite channel was "My Simple Little Pleasures" (I follow her blog too) who shows how to do water marbling and nail design. From just one click, my nails have not been the same since.

I started doing my own manicures and pedicures (I won't go to the salon, I'm a total germaphobe). Instead of zoning out on HGTV at night, I paint my nails two hours before I go to sleep. I even have a small nail polish collection. But since I have champagne tastes on a Schaefer beer budget, most of my nail polishes are the drug store brand bought on sale.  I refuse to spend more than three bucks for a bottle-yes, I know I'm cheap! 

So, I may need to have my hair done (its been months), have a muffin top, need new clothes, and generally look like a hot mess some days, but rest assured my nails will always looks nice.


The Brainless Housewife :P

P.S. I will not be posting any pics of my nails like other blogs because no one needs to see my dishpan hands!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The Clean Mini-Van: Suburban Myth?

Recently a friend of mine got a brand spanking new 2011 mini-van. I oooed and aaahed at all the new features, the plush leather seats, the big DVD screen, the navigation system and the brand new car smell. As I kept inhaling the lovely newness I realized what I loved most was how clean it was. It was as if angels came down and cleaned it every night. As I went to my van I realized how dirty and dusty it was. I saw all the food and stains in the carpet. I could literally make a meal with what was on my van floor.

So this weekend my husband and I cleaned it. I was absolutely disgusted. We took out the carpets, vacuumed, scrubbed, wiped all the stains, crumbs, and gook..and when I say "we" I mean my husband with me supervising. Of all the little treasures I found: glitter, goldfish, Capri Sun wrappers (I could make a dress with those), petrified raisins, plastic bubble eyes, Cheerios (General Mills should cut me a check),  the best was a size three pamper I found in the third row pocket. It brought a tear to my eye to remember all the changes my family has been through the last five years. All the pampers I changed in that third row are now a distant memory. Awwww, they grow so fast.....

But with that being said, I read my kids the riot act after the van was done: "You see how clean this van is? We are going to keep it that way! There will be no eating, no drinking, no chewing, no thinking of food, you drop it-pick it up, etc etc.."  Cut to forty eight hours later and my van is still sparkling minus the potato chip crumbs because little people (who shall remain nameless) were starving.....


The Brainless Housewife :P

Monday, June 20, 2011

Let's get ready to rumble!!!!!

As summer vacation approaches, only one phrase comes to mind from the famous boxing announcer Michael Buffer, "Let's get ready to RUMBLE!!!!!!!"  My boys + 24 hrs a day = Give that back! Get off me! You cheated!! Leave me alone! Mommy, he hit me!!!!"

I decided not to send them to day camp this summer. I had these wonderful visions of us relaxing by the pool, going to the library, and taking day trips to the museum and beach. (I also wanted to save money). But now reality is setting in and I am facing the fact that I have two energetic boys who are busy busy busy.  I have thought of creating a "schedule" like they have in school to keep them entertained. I fear that I lack the energy and patience to keep up with them. I wish I was more laid back and organized and less hyper and disorganized. I wish I was "that Mom", the one we all aspire to be.

So as of Friday, summer vacation will be officially underway. I know there will be a lot of screaming and crying (not only from me) but I also know there will be a lot of laughter and smiles. This will be the summer of them being 7 and 5, a summer to remember. However with all those nice things being said, I know I will be the one of those "excited" parents to be shopping for school supplies come August.


The Brainless Housewife :P

Thursday, June 16, 2011


My youngest graduates from preschool tomorrow. He says to me, "I'm ready to go to kindergarten now!" This graduation is bittersweet for me. My baby is off to big school. No more half days and no more special time with just me and him. As I drove him to school today I realized it was the last time I would be doing so. The last time we would take the 5 mile trip singing his favorite songs. He seems to have grown up so much from September, capable of doing more things for himself. 

I also feel like I'm graduating too. I'm off to big school. This preschool has been an anchor, a home base for my children and I the last four years. Friends I have made, women I have come to know and see everyday, I will see no more. Like every graduation, people promise to K.I.T. and the ever popular "we have to get together over the summer". But life gets in the way, and the old adage of "Out of sight, Out of Mind" applies. I'm guilty of it, we all are. 

So as I walk the halls tomorrow for the last time I must not be sad. I must take a cue from my son and be excited for the next adventure. He seems to know best. 


The Brainless Housewife :P

Saturday, June 11, 2011

I don't like you Mommy!!!!

I don't like you Mommy! That's what my four year old screams at me while he's pointing his little finger. I pause which feels like an eternity....thoughts rush through my mind...should I put him in time out? Scream back? Do what my mother or grandmother would have done??

No, I can't...I'm trying to raise my kids differently, I've read all the books, seen all the shows, I know not to be offended or hurt...but this is my youngest, my quiet child....I can't help but feel hurt....however my little drill sergeant voice snaps me back into reality...Get on your feet Soldier!

So I look my four year old in the eye, get down on his eye level (learned that from Supernanny), and in a calm voice say, "You don't like me? Good, I prefer it that way, now go sit on your bed" His eyes widen and my seven year old says, "Whoa!" He goes to his room and after 4 minutes and 50 seconds (he's going to be five at the end of the month), I go into his room and explain why he's in there and etc etc. He apologizes, gives me a big hug, and off he goes....Crisis ended.

I just think to myself if I solved the problem...will he ever say that to me again? Did I make an impression? Will this be labeled as one of my bad parenting moments? I'll only find out years from now over a family dinner when my boys are reminiscing about their childhood, laughing, saying, "Remember the time Mom..."

Ahhh, the adventures of Motherhood!

The Brainless Housewife :P

Friday, June 10, 2011

The Brainless Housewife?!?

About a year ago a friend of mine who is a former H.W. (Housewife) said, "I'm so stressed at work, I wish I could go back to being a brainless housewife". Instead of being offended, I laughed and thought "What a great name!" since I am anything but. 

The name is especially fitting since my youngest will be going to kindergarten in September and I am being asked the question...WHEN ARE YOU GOING BACK TO WORK??? I would love to respond, "As if I don't already if I'm a Brainless Housewife?!?"

Someone once told me that being a Mother is a thankless job. It is so true. Its the hardest job ever created. I love my kids and they drive me nuts sometimes but I'm blessed to be their Mom! What I love most about motherhood is just when you think you have it all figured out: life throws you a curve ball and its back to the drawing board!

I hope to share a lot of things. From kids stuff, books, beauty, music, great finds and great deals. Thanks for reading! 

The Brainless Housewife :P