Didn't I just feed you?!?!?

This is a glimpse of what happened this summer and now on the weekends:


My day begins by my eye pried open by a little person (A) asking, "Mommy, can I have some waffles, I am reaaaaaaaalllllly hungry!!!!" Then a few minutes later, a bigger little person (B) says, "Mommy can I have an egg sandwich, I am reaaaaaaaalllllly hungry!!!!" Ugh, feeding time at the zoo has begun.....


An hour later: "Mommy can I have some toast, cinnamon toast crunch, grapes, a snaaaaaaaacccccckkkkkk????" I'm like, "Didn't I just feed you?!?!?"


Another hour later, " Can I have goldfish, a granola bar, a go-gurt, bagel, an apple, a snaaaaaaaacccccckkkkkk????" Ugh, didn't I just feed you?!?!? I haven't even eaten breakfast yet!


So when I think they are fed enough, we can venture out in the world. As soon as I pull out I hear, "Mooooommmmmmy, we didn't have lunch!!!!" OMG, this can't be happening.


I have resorted to carrying a cooler with me filled with drinks and healthy snacks because all they do is eat and drink.....seriously.....didn't I just feed you?!?!?


Then I finish my errands, get them lunch, think they are satisified then I hear, "Mommmmmmmyyyyyy, can I have a snaaaaaaaacccccckkkkkk????" Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!!!! Didn't I just feed you?!?!?


Then dinnertime rolls around. I make sure they are starving  by the time we sit down, especially when it is something they don't like. "A" horks it down like it is the last meal, and "B" starts his negotiations, "This is not my favorite flavor, I really wanted....." I give him the look of death. He reconsiders and starts eating. Smart boy.


Finally bedtime, Aaaaaaaah, the natives are down for the count.....or so I think. "Mommmmmmmmyyyy, can I have some water, I'm a little hungry, I think I can go for some toast" OMGeezy, Didn't I just feed you?!?!?


My question is if its like this now, what will it be like when they are teenagers? Lord help me......




XOXO


The Brainless Housewife :P

Liars Anonymous....

I recently read a blog post at Life as Bobbi titled "Too Much Information?" and she posed the question about being honest with your children about your past and other situations: To lie or not to lie, that is the question.


I don't know about you but I'm a liar....a big one.....I belong in Liars Anonymous. I will lie to chidren until they are 50. My boys like to ask questions....lots of them. Sometimes I feel like I live with Peter Jennings and Walter Cronkite. I have neither the strength or patience to explain my past choices or why things were the way they were. The other day my son asked why do people smoke....then it was followed by don't they know its bad for them, where do they make cigarettes, do all people die from smoking, have you ever smoked, have you known anyone who has smoked, etc etc....you get the idea......


Don't don't get me wrong, I don't make crazy stories up. I lie with one word answers or key phrases like "No, Nope, Never, Sure, Ok, I never did that as a kid, I don't know, What are you talking about," etc etc. My mom used to lie to me, I will lie to my kids. So sue me!


Maybe when they are older and have stopped firing questions at me like a prosecution attorney, I will tell the truth. But until then they do not need to know about my wild teenage years, early 20's, what Daddy and I did on our trips to Cancun, Vegas, etc etc.


But until that happens I will continue to lie...so therefore I'm a liar....a big one.....


XOXO


The Brainless Housewife :P

Grateful

Grateful is the word of the day, word of the week, the word of my life. I am grateful. Grateful for my children, my family, and our safety. Friday we were involved in a car accident. Thankfully we are safe and the other driver is safe as well. I am grateful that we walked away with our health and our lives. My kids are my life. They are sweet, smart, lovable, and drive me crazy at times, but they are all mine. I can't imagine a day without them. Sometimes it takes an event like this to make you appreciate everyone and everything you have. 


So I am grateful.....always.


XOXO


The Brainless Housewife :P

School is out for summer and so is my sanity!!!!

As of Thursday, June 23 at approximately 11:30 am, summer vacation had begun and so did the end of my sanity. Two kids + rainy days + summer vacation = Mommy screaming, "Calgon take me away!!!!" They have had me in such a frenzy that I haven't been able to blog...Stop the INSANITY!!!!!


The constant fighting, arguing, screaming, yelling, teasing, and farting games has me at the brink. Boys are wild, crazy, and impulsive. They don't listen, they get an idea in their head and go for it. It seems like all I do is say (scream), "No, Stop that, Sit down, Leave your brother alone, Why did you hit him, Don't fart on him", etc. etc. By the end of the night I'm exhausted. Not to mention the tons of guilt I feel for being "so mean" which I happen to wash down with lots of clear liquid and cheesecake.


Hopefully we will get into a better routine and I won't have to go to the asylum...not just yet anyway. I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel....I just received Toys R Us Back to School catalog! LOL!




XOXO


The Brainless Housewife :P

Friendly's...the friendly place???

At my local Friendly's on Wednesdays kids eat for 1.99 with an adult meal. It seems like a great deal, but this deal comes at your own risk of losing the little sanity you have left. It is TORTURE with a capital T. Once you are seated it begins from every corner of the restaurant..."Stop it, eat your food, we don't spit, sit and finish, if you don't finish we are not coming back, do not eat like a dog, get off the floor, Moooooooommmm he's not sharing his fries, leave him alone, eat your own food, behave yourself, get back here!!" It is official, I'm in the ninth canto of hell. 


My kids start to act up and I give them the look of death. They stop immediately because they know I will get up and leave (I've done it before). But you can't blame them for trying-the whole restaurant is in chaos! I sit there and think, "I'm a glutton for punishment! Calgon take me away!!!" Then I see people come in with no kids and I think to myself, "Are you crazy or love to be tortured? The ice cream is not that good, is it?!?"

And then the happy ending, the sundae is served. SILENCE...the kids are quiet and I have a moment of peace before the sugar kicks in. There it is....this is why I keep coming back...the silence...its almost worth the tears, screaming, and tantrums.....Almost!


XOXO


The Brainless Housewife :P

The Clean Mini-Van: Suburban Myth?

Recently a friend of mine got a brand spanking new 2011 mini-van. I oooed and aaahed at all the new features, the plush leather seats, the big DVD screen, the navigation system and the brand new car smell. As I kept inhaling the lovely newness I realized what I loved most was how clean it was. It was as if angels came down and cleaned it every night. As I went to my van I realized how dirty and dusty it was. I saw all the food and stains in the carpet. I could literally make a meal with what was on my van floor.


So this weekend my husband and I cleaned it. I was absolutely disgusted. We took out the carpets, vacuumed, scrubbed, wiped all the stains, crumbs, and gook..and when I say "we" I mean my husband with me supervising. Of all the little treasures I found: glitter, goldfish, Capri Sun wrappers (I could make a dress with those), petrified raisins, plastic bubble eyes, Cheerios (General Mills should cut me a check),  the best was a size three pamper I found in the third row pocket. It brought a tear to my eye to remember all the changes my family has been through the last five years. All the pampers I changed in that third row are now a distant memory. Awwww, they grow so fast.....


But with that being said, I read my kids the riot act after the van was done: "You see how clean this van is? We are going to keep it that way! There will be no eating, no drinking, no chewing, no thinking of food, you drop it-pick it up, etc etc.."  Cut to forty eight hours later and my van is still sparkling minus the potato chip crumbs because little people (who shall remain nameless) were starving.....


XOXO


The Brainless Housewife :P