Wednesday, October 5, 2011

I am STILL a Fat Ass

Yes, Yes....I am STILL a Fat Ass...finally got on a scale last week and surprise surprise, I gained 15 lbs since May. Not to mention I was already 25 lbs overweight. My muffin top is officially bigger than my boobs. *gasp* *holds hand to forehead* *faints* 

Nothing, and I mean NOTHING fits me anymore. As of last week, I was down to one pair of jeans, two moo moo skirts, and sweatpants *ick*...Unfortunately my jeans could not take the extra poundage and committed suicide....yes, suicide....they are no longer wearable in any country....As for my moo moo skirt, the wash ate it. The elastic came apart....maybe it paid the washer to kill it, who knows.....So I am down to one moo-moo skirt (which makes me look Amish) and the dreaded sweat pants....*hangs head in shame*

Desperate times call for desperate measures.....Yes, I'm about to say it, the D-word. I am on a DIET..........   :(
No bread (it will officially be called 'Osama Bread Laden' from now on), no pasta, and no soda-NOOOOOOOOOO you evil woman!!!!! *shakes fists in the air* Also, no Dunkin Donuts coffee, Starbucks, no foods listed "diet", no fat free, no pre-packaged food, or fast food. *sighs*

Soooooooo what am I eating??  Water, fresh fruits, vegetables, chicken, fish, nuts, greek yogurt, low sodium foods, making all my meals, etc. etc. All the crap you know you must do but don't-Ugh!  I'm also tracking my meals and calorie intake-so sad :(  

But one thing I will not give up is my morning coffee! I refuse!!! Hell to the no!!!!!! Buuuuuuuuuuutttttttt, I did modify it....instead of 2 TBSP of creamer, I am using 1 and instead 3 TBSP of sugar (don't judge me), I am using 1 tsp....It has taken some getting used to...*sticks tongue out*

I've also started exercising. Got myself a hubby. You know how men always seem to have the answers, you should do this, you never listen to me blah blah blah....well I'm making him put his money where his mouth is. I have to say he is pretty good, he keeps me motivated, and the best part is I get to punch him in the face when we box. 

My goal is to lose the 15 I gained, plus another 25, a grand total of 40. My mom seems to think that is too much...she believes at a certain age a woman has to choose between her ass and her face...I'm choosing my face so we will see what the grand total will be.....

*UPDATE* I have lost 5 lbs so far!!! Yeah me! 


The Brainless Housewife 


  1. Good Luck! Have you heard of that sweetener Stevia? Its supposed to be all natural I guess, so no funky chemicals. Anyway, if you miss the sweetness in your coffee from the sugar, maybe give that a shot? I found some in my store and its not too bad. Just thought Id share! Best wishes, and keep us posted.

  2. Oh Girl...I've been there. I posted for a little while about how I was one of the lucky girls that had never been on a diet and how my belly is suddenly bigger than my boobs. After about 2 weeks of eating right and walking every day, I gave up (partly because I was experiencing a relapse of my depression and partly because I just wanted a damn cheesburger).

    I have to say, I respect anyone who can do it. Maybe I will join up...Now I have to think about it.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog earlier. I am going to go read some of your other posts now!


  3. Wait, wait... at some point a woman needs to choose between her face and her ass? I'm not sure I understand this statement... um, does that mean I'm choosing between my face and my husband? That would be a toughie. But my face vs. my bottom? Heck, my bottom can kiss my, um, never mind... but I guess I'm still not sure why we have to choose one or the other. Can't both look good?

    Anyway, you commented on a post of mine a while ago and I'm popping by your blog to say hello! Thanks for the laughs! I sympathize with your plight--I did the South Beach diet after having my son, and I was just about scratching my eyes out after the first three days for want of carbohydrates. I called my husband up, sobbing, because I wanted a banana but the diet said I couldn't have one. My husband's advice--"Eat the damn banana. No diet is worth feeling this terrible!" So I had the banana, and I still lost weight.

    So the moral of the story is... I wish you all the best in your weight loss efforts! But show yourself some love while you're at it. You need to be kind to yourself sometimes. Have your coffee the way you like and enjoy it, I say. After all, it's just coffee, not a whole box of doughnuts!

    Following you now!

    Smiles, Jenn @Misadventures in Motherhood

  4. thank you for joining my blog. I also want to say I feel your thoughts on this matter. I have been 80 lbs. overweight since I had to take steroids for my RA in 2005. I cannot shed them and I am now planning to join a gym. Your feelings atre truly felt.